You're so vain, you probably think this blog is about you

Why do pretty people automatically assume that if you are nice to them that you want to date them? I've had a couple instances recently where good looking guys who also happen to have pretty cool personalities are fun and engaging at first but shortly thereafter back off like I've sneezed the plague in their general direction. One of these guys specifically is funny and has the same sense of humor I do and we seem to get along well as friends. I have a more rare type of humor with sarcasm mixed with pessimism while still staying positive and his humor is very similar to me. But I've never made any sort of pass at him or given him a little wink wink. I will admit to him or anyone else who wants to know that I would like to be his friend. I'm always down to hang out with anyone that can make me laugh. But that doesn't mean I want to hold hands and make out. Almost makes me not want to be nice to pretty people because I don't want to be clumped into that "creepy chubby girl that obviously wants me and is trying too hard" category. That's not a good category to be put in.

As I've been working out lately (tho still not losing very much weight...blah) I've been getting a little more confidence to start up conversations rather than waiting for others to approach me. But again, if that's going to be taken as an "obvious" desire to date and possibly marry that person, I might just go back to my old more shy, distant ways with people I don't know very well. It's hard to make new friends if you don't hang out with them at some point but if you don't ask or at least make it known that you'd be down to hang out, that will never happen. It's a twisty road, this making new friends business.

Lower. Maybe a little lower. Yeah, right there!

I hurt my back last weekend. I put on my cape and tried to keep up with Matty P. at the gym on Saturday. In his defense, he warned me it was gonna be intense. I figured that since I had been going to the gym 4-5 times a week for over a month, I could handle it. I knew it wasn't going to be easy but I was willing to give it a try. I thought worst case scenario: it was too intense for me and I stopped.

So late morning, we head over to the gym. (Side note: My on again/off again non-boyfriend that I follow and drool over at the gym was there. Right when I pointed him out to Matt, he looked over...busted) We go on the elliptical/step machine for 12 mins or so. I didn't almost pass out and die this time! Man, I'm improving! Moved on to a set of squats, ab crunches using the exercise ball, lunges, and more ab work where you keep your legs straight out in front of you and lift and lower all the while keeping your core engaged (which is stupid and no one should ever do that again). In between exercises, I stretched, made sure I was well hydrated. We moved upstairs to the weights area...did some dead lifts, which I now know aren't just called that out of coincidence. Went to Submarina for a healthier type lunch. In all, an excellent work out.

Sunday comes along. I woke up and my legs were sore. Went to church, and the Cbad street fair. Walked around a bit. Legs were sore but I still had my superhero cape on. Sunday night, I feel my lower back getting a bit tight so as I watched TV, I sat on the living room floor stretching. Woke up Monday morning...my lower back had been in some sort of horrible painful accident while I slept. It hurt so intensely to even move. Consistent dull ache from my lower back to my upper legs with occasional sharp shooting pains all thru-out. Slowly got ready for work. Honestly thought I was going to need to wake my sister up to help me put my socks and shoes on but after about 5 minutes, I was able to do it all by myself. Got to work...pain. I'm not a big crier. I don't like crying in front of people. It's just not my thing. Sat in my office and had tears in my eyes in front of my Director and Asst. Director from a mix of the pain and frustration. Usually with pain like that, you can find a spot how you sit that you're at least mildly comfortable so long as you don't move...I couldn't find that spot.

So I went home, layed down, went to the doctor, she gave me pills and I've been slowly recovering ever since. YAY!

Spin spin spin...STOP!

I can't seem to focus. I've been super forgetful. I've used the old saying "I'd forget my head if it weren't attached" about 10 times in the past 2 weeks. I'm usually pretty good about remembering the smaller stuff. That is, until recently. I'll stop what I'm doing, walk into another room and by time I get there, I've already forgotten why I went there. In my line of work, these little bouts are referred to as "senior moments" but I'm not a senior. I think it's time for a vacation or a really strong sedative.

Almost finished unpacking. Still a few boxes in the kitchen area but other than that, the place looks pretty good. There's still some stuff I'd like to get such as a base and chairs for the dinning room glass I got, patio furniture, coffee table, etc. As soon as I buy nails, I'm gonna hang up pictures around the house. It should be nice. AND we're hoping to have a get together soon as a house warming party.

I'm well aware of my ability to bake and not cook. I can bake the crap out of cookies/cakes/etc. Technically, I know how to cook but I'm not great at it. Some people have that desire to cook and feel joy as they are cooking. They will add stuff that wasn't in the recipe cuz they know it will give the meal a little something extra... I am not this person. This has been made more clear lately. My sister will come home and make dinner. She likes to cook. While she does this, I clean. I'm a pretty good cleaner. I would rather spend an hour and a half cleaning than 30 minutes cooking... it's just who I am. I also realize as an "income challenged" adult, cooking is inevitable for me. My sister isn't going to be home every night to cook me dinner. I guess my biggest thing is that when I decide to cook it's usually very short notice, I'm already pretty hungry, and I've done no prep work. My sister-in-law is a phenomenal cook. She cooks for 5-7 people a night, and I can't think of a time that I had dinner at their house when it wasn't absolutely delicious. The way she's able to do all that is she will go thru the grocery store ads, plans a menu for the week based on the best deals, and shops/preps accordingly. And the reason why it's so good is years and years of practice. I need to do that.

Can't breathe..(sigh)

I've been in a really weird mood lately. I feel anxious at least half of every day. It charts from mild anxious thoughts of "what if this happens" to points where I'm having a hard time catching my breath. That's scary. I haven't noticed a pattern as to what might be causing it other than an overall stressful existence. Once I move, if it continues on the way it is, I may go to the doctor or whatever to find a solution.

So I was reading someone elses blog the other day and he just had little tid-bits and random ideas thru out his blog. I kinda like that. I may weave that into mine as well to spice it up a little.

I've been working out about 4 times a week for a month or so but haven't lost much weight in terms of pounds. I've noticed that clothes fit better and such but I'd still kinda like to have that ability to say "I lost (insert #) lbs by working my keester off over the last month, all while tweaking my knee in the process." I realize it takes time and I'm not asking for 2 digit numbers a week, but I could use a little incentive. Luckily the gym hotty I've mentioned before is still there almost every day. Odd as it may sound, he motivates me to go. No, we've never talked and he's not verbally encouraging, but the hope of maybe getting that glimpse of his ripped self makes me go. It's a pleasant experience to see him. PS I made eye contact and gave a little smile the other day in his direction & I caught him looking at me a few times the other day...The wedding date is TBD.

Realized this week that I'm not the rock star party girl I used to be back in college. Probably because I have a big girl job now with responsibilities and all that other business where i have to be up and fully functioning by 6:15am. Went out on Friday night to a bar with my sister, stayed out until about 3am. Went bowling with friends and family Saturday night, stayed out til 12pm and had to be up for the early church service Sunday. Went out to Karaoke Monday night, stayed out til about 1am. Tuesday we had some friends over and we went to the spa and then hung out til about 1am...I AM TIRED!! Well, not as much now cuz I just packed and hung out at home so I got decent sleep last night but I'm going to a concert tonight that will prolly keep me up til 12-1am, then I get to move Saturday...I commend the party people who live off 4-5 hours of sleep a night. I am not one of these people. (Yawn)

It's been 6 months...it's time to move again

The definition of a nomad: a member of a people or tribe that has no permanent abode but moves about from place to place... (There was more to the definition but that didn't relate to what I wanted to talk about so it didn't make the cut.) Yes, it has been about 6 months since I last moved which means it's time to move again. It's funny, I lived in the same room from the age of 5 to 23. I'd rearrange my furniture on occasion, get rid of old stuff, get new stuff, but I stayed in the same room the whole time.
At the age of 23, I decided I wanted to be independent and move out of my little room so I moved out with a friend to the town immediately west of where I grew up. We lived there about 9 months before another friend wanted to move in with us so we stayed in the same apartment complex, just moved to a bigger unit. That was on the 2nd floor...probably walked up and down those stairs 80 times that day. Stayed there for 1 year and 8 months. Around that time, some personal stuff happened within the family so I decided to move in with my sister. We didn't have a place at first but a friend of the family had a place that they wanted someone to house sit for a couple months. So from July to Sept, we stayed there. In Sept, my sister and I moved to a complex in Vista. We knew it was more money than we wanted to pay but we were in a bit of a bind and needed a place ASAP. So we took it. We signed a six month lease and the six month mark is up. We didn't want to continue to overpay for a mediocre place when we knew we could do better. So we found a place about 2 blocks away from our current place and plan to move in there the weekend of the 18th. The nice thing about this place is everything has been refurbished so it'll all be clean and new. The other thing, which I'm deciding is a good thing cuz I'm sick of moving every other day, is we are in a year lease. The only reason I see myself moving is if I meet the man of my dreams, we get married and move to a big nice house.
Don't get me wrong, there are some positives about moving. I get to clear out stuff I've accumulated that I don't really need or want. Shows your true friendships cuz they are willing to help. The new place is right across the street from a fire station. I'm gonna have to divise a plan to ensure those trucks get dirtied up every week so they have to wash them on the weekends.(And if they want to do it shirtless, who am I to argue?)
This time, I've decided to rent a U-haul. I learned my lesson from last time. Even with the places being so close, it's just a pain. I'd rather just have 1 big trip. Load all the crap out of the one place and unload it in the new place all in one swoop.

The windy road to no place at all...

YAY went to the desert this weekend! Started out a little windy on Friday but Sat and Sun were gorgeous! Apparently most of Friday was super windy but I wasn't there so I'm only going based off stories. Leave it up to Aunt Shelly to turn 40+ mile an hour winds into a game of parachuting for the whole camp. We laughed quite a bit this weekend. Seemed like we were all a bit goofy on Saturday. Can't remember the last time I laughed so much and for so long that my stomach hurt...good stuff. Because Friday was so windy, we didn't even bother putting up the tents for fear that we would be blown away so I got to sleep in Shelly and Steve's trailer...LOVE THE TRAILER LIFE! Don't get me wrong, I don't mind tent sleeping, especially with an air mattress. There were some folks this weekend that slept in the back of trucks with only blankets between them and the bed of the truck and them and the bright hot morning sun. But the trailer! I woke up around 9am both mornings because I didn't have to hear the bikes start riding between 5-6am! Definitely putting a trailer on my B-day AND X-mas list.

I drove on the 76! I know what you're thinking. You're thinking, "But Kate, isn't the 76 just an illusion? A horribly long confusing road used by others to just get you lost in the middle of Butt Freakin' Fallbrook/Valley Center?" And my answer to you is, "YES, that was once true. That's what I thought as well..." HOWEVER this weekend, I found that it is real! It is still a horribly long confusing road that takes you thru the heart of VC/Fallbrook, thru Vista and eventually to O-side. I definitely don't plan on using it very often (if ever) but it's nice to know that it's there.

Are you listening?...I'm sorry, I wasn't listening. What?

I have a coworker that doesn't listen...at all...ever...in any sense of the word. For the sake of this posting, lets refer to this person as "Shouty" because the tone of this persons voice far exceeds anything I've ever come in contact with. Shouty yells...doesn't scream, just yells. The closest I can think of that you would be able to relate to is like talking to someone that stood next to a 7' tall speaker during a rock concert. Because they can't hear themselves, they assume you can't hear them either so they yell. With Shouty, you could be answering a question Shouty asked you or talking about something important and work related and Shouty'd interrupt you mid sentence or, my personal favorite, talk loudly over you before you're able to finish your thought. If you ask any normal human being, they might consider this behavior rude. I've realized over the past few months that Shouty is far from any definition of normal.

Now, I don't think Shouty does it to be rude. Shouty does it because she's not listening. Typical example: Shouty'll storm into my office like a tornado, interrupt me while I'm talking on the phone to a resident or to another individual in my office to just ask me a "quick question". (Note: just because it's quick doesn't make the intrusion justified.) I'll begin to answer Shouty's "quick question" and half way thru, Shouty'll interrupt me again and then dart out of my office. 4 minutes later, can you guess who will storm back into my office, ask the same question in a different way, and then dart out again? Oh, that'd be Shouty. (Different question example: Ques #1 - Did you talk to Mrs. Smith today about her cleaning? Ques #2 - Have you had a chance to call Mrs. Smith about her problem? Ques #3 - I was just wondering if any contact between you and Mrs. Smith has transpired between 7:30am today and now? Ques #4 - Hath thou communicated with thine gentle lady Smith to rectify the unpleasantry that hath caused her castle-sized distress? I may have taken that last one too far). This happens anywhere from 5-15 times daily. I've counted that Shouty's asked me the same question over 8 times in a single day. I think a key factor to recognizing insanity is asking the same (or similar, even if you word it differently) question over and over again expecting a different answer. I've gone so far as to snap my fingers at Shouty as she's talking to me while I'm ON THE PHONE with a resident. I realize it's rude to snap at people, but so is storming into a room yelling. I've had to ask residents to repeat themselves because Shouty's talking drowned them out.
You're probably thinking, "This can't be all true. She's obviously over exaggerating. People that obnoxious don't exist anymore." But I say to you, I have witnesses. If you were to ask one of my other dear coworkers who takes just as much of this bologna (had to sing the song to make sure that was spelled right) as I do, if not more, she would be able to confirm all I've stated.

Another part of Shouty's not listening is even more of a pain in the bum than the first example. Shouty will often come to me and ask my opinion on a work situation. This makes sense. Shouty hasn't even been working on the property for a year yet. I have no problem giving my input on certain situations, especially if I'm more familiar with the situation or have dealt with a similar situation prior. 9 out of 10 times, Shouty will do the EXACT OPPOSITE of what my suggestion is. Tried to tell Shouty to lay off someone who was doing a horrible job before their 3 month review so that we didn't need to have all sorts of paperwork and involve HR...Nope. Kept the person who then got injured at work and was all but useless for over 3 months. Shouty asked if I wanted a certain person she introduced me to as my assistant, I said no...hired the person THE NEXT DAY!! I've really tried to refrain from giving my opinion when Shouty asks for it anymore. I mostly just listen now. Shouty'll come roaring in my office, tell me all about her day, all the stuff that has to be done (which doesn't involve me...). On average, Shouty takes up about 2-3 hours a day of my time with useless crap. Whether it's asking me to do a task, taking too long to explain how she'd like it done, then coming back 20 minutes later to let me know she just did it, all the while I was working on it as well or having me work on/fill out/create things that will never be used.

I'm sure there are more reasons, but I'm confident that this is a MAJOR part of why I'm an unhappy stressed out person on a regular basis. I used to be pleasant. My eye didn't use to twitch nearly as often. My throat didn't use to be sore all the time from having to yell just to be heard when someone asked my opinion. When someone would repeat themselves, I used to take it in stride versus now where I take off my shoe and slap them across the face with it (Sorry to most of you that I've done that to...not as sorry to the few that had it coming.)