Vanity with a dash of thought

I had some random thoughts poppin' thru my head this past weekend but I wasn't able to spread them out over separate blogs cuz I have no Internet access. So I apologize in advance if I jump around. Buck up and just go with it.

I need a hair cut BAD! When I get bored, I pick at my split ends, which I realize is kinda gross but I can't stop myself. Unfortunately, my funds are a bit low and I still have to get my oil changed in my car, as well as buy a new tail light cuz I smashed the other one against a tree (it was 100% my fault but I had been having a bad week and I just wasn't paying attention). So here's my struggle: I have to live with myself and my hair all day every day. I only really drive my car to and from work...but if I don't change the oil soon, it may start to cause more costly damages down the road (haha, truck/road joke). Is it more important to pay for the car or my hair cut? (Most guys wouldn't even have to think tho I wonder how many girls would need to think either, but for the other side of the debate?).. Because I haven't been able to come up with an answer, I've just been ignoring the whole situation and both the hair and truck are slowly getting worse.

I went to the new gym by my apt 4 days last week...cool, right? Hoping to get myself a beach/summer body I can be proud of (or at least not terribly ashamed of). Skipped Wed, Sat and Sun. I need to get out of the mind set that I can't work out on weekends. If anything, it should be the opposite. Weekend workouts will give me more time to work out, might give me some friends to join, and if I go earlier in the day, I'll have more energy. Even went to a yoga class on Thursday and some small blond lady worked me! I've been sore for about a week now from all the working out but in a good way. Not in a "I can't walk without looking like a zombie" way. Now if only I could get what I eat and how much I eat under control. Contrary to popular belief, I don't NEED to have some sort of dessert after every meal. I mean it. Tho enjoyable, I will physically and probably emotionally survive without it. Not sure when this fun trend started but I need to nip it in the butt!

I keep meaning to start a journal but I keep not doing it. I find mind-numbing stuff like movies or crossword puzzles to take up my time instead of actually sitting down and hashin' it out with..well, with myself. I used to do a similar thing when I had to study back in college - I'd clean the entire house/rearrange my room/alphabetize my music and movie collection/etc to avoid having to actually do the task at hand..if they handed out awards for procrastination, I'd totally win one, tho it would take me weeks to go pick up the trophy, haha. This is sort of like a journal but there are still some stuff I'd like to keep out of the public eye (I think I'm the only person to read this, but if it ever "takes off" and another person reads it, I want some stuff kept for myself). I think I'm nervous to get that close to myself. I think I know me pretty well but I think I hide things from myself to make life a little easier. I have an amazing ability to ignore the unpleasant. I wish I had the guts to say what's on my mind, but I don't know if I have it in me. Is that something you can grow into or is it just a gene you are born with? Does outspokenness go hand in hand with confidence?

I've decided I need to stop looking for someone to be with. It's more of a pain than anything else. I'm gonna try and focus on friends and family. If someone comes along, fantastic! But keeping a "nonchalant" eye out all the time gets real old real quick. The last person I really liked just sorta fell upon my life and I liked that. It wasn't pressured. I didn't have to pretend to be someone I wasn't and I think he was the same way. Yeah...yeah, we'll save that story for another day...